Bullying & Preteens

You may have heard about Phoebe Prince, the Massachusetts teen who committed suicide after being bullied. CNN is giving the topic of bullying a lot of press. Click here to check it out. One of the debates being brought to the table is bringing criminal charges to those who bully someone when the end result is suicide. Interesting debate since Phoebe isn’t the only teen who has killed herself as a result of bullying.

Regardless, bullying is a hot topic these days and is a real issue preteens and teens face. With the introduction of hand held devices with internet, the popularity of texting and speed and scope of social media – bullying has taken on a new form. CYBER BULLYING is the new term. Young people now not only get bullied at school but online. In many ways, it is much worse and more harmful.

The power of texting and online social media sites changes everything. The home at one time was a safe place where young people could get away from bullying, but not anymore. When online or on mobile devices, students are getting harassed. Victims are feeling it from every angle: school, home and on the go. With the new technology, the number of people who witness the bullying increases asl. The victim knows others are watching, which makes is even more humiliating. Also, the bully isn’t looking in the eye of his victim. He doesn’t see the pain and hurt being done, which means he is often much more cruel and mean. Another factor is that the victim often feels the impact alone. In the bedroom of his or her house, his self-esteem is being destroyed. Therefore, parents and teachers are often clueless about the situation. All these factors increase the impact of bullying and tears down confidence of young people.

Think all this is just a teen issue? It isn’t. Preteens are right in the middle of it. Just ask the preteens in your group if they are aware of it and you’ll be shocked! Preteens need to be given resources and tools to deal with it

Here are three guidelines to teach preteens about cyber bullying (and traditional bullying as well):

1. Do Something. Preteens need to know that witnessing bullying happening and doing nothing about it is just as bad as bullying someone.  Train preteens to talk to a teacher, parent or other trusted adult when they witness bullying of any kind.

2.  Find A Friend. If a student is being bullied, encourage them to find a friend.  They can’t go through it alone.  Encourage the to talk to a leader in your preteen ministry, parent, teacher or other trusted adult so something can be done to resolve it.  Going through this alone is extremely difficult and overwhelming.

3. Stand Up. If a preteen has a friend who is bullying someone, encourage them to confront him or her.  Real friends confront each other when needed.  Tell them to be a good friend and don’t just be silent on the issue.
CNN has lots of  resources on bullying.  Be sure to check out their site.

I’ve been so impacted by the issue that I had do something about it (besides blogging).  So, I’ve created a video clip lesson on the topic for PreteenMinistry.net members.  Using a clip from the movie Furry Vengeance, teach preteens how to cope with the issue of bullying.  Members click here to download the lesson. Not a member?  Learn more about the benefits of a being a member today.

I encourage you to tackle this topic with your preteens.  Whether or not you use the lesson I’ve written, it is important to equip both victims and witnesses.