Connecting With Parents

When I first started out in preteen ministry, I easily connected with preteens.  I was a 20 something who refused to grow up.  It was common have preteens over my house to play basketball, take preteens to the park for a game of football or go grab some ice cream.  I was the king at relational ministry.

Next week my oldest son, Ethan, turns nine years old.  Although in 3rd grade, he just about a preteen. I seem to naturally gravitate towards parents and find it easy to connect with them.  As easy as it was to connect with preteens in the early days. Don’t get me wrong, I am still great with preteens.  But can easily relate to the challenges, fears and feelings of inadequacy that parents experience.  I don’t have a plan or formalized agenda to intentionally connect with parents.  It is just flows out of who I am naturally.

I think that is the way connecting with parents should be.  We in the church world often want to create a program or formula when it comes to partnering with parents.  Not a bad idea.  But if it is just another program or thing on our to-do list, then we’re missing the boat.  Partnering with parents should be equally as important as connecting with preteens.  You don’t have to be the same age as parents.  Just be yourself.  Train leaders to reach out to parents as well as preteens.  Recruit leaders older than you if you’re young and younger than you if you’re old.  Get to know the parents point of view regarding issues their preteen faces.  You’ll be surprised to hear how different it is than the preteen’s point of view.  Train leaders to grab a cup of coffee or go to lunch with parents.  Eat, laugh, cry and pray with them.  Walk alongside them on this journey called parenthood.

Last week we held our open house for families.  The first half of the night was entertainment for kids and a time of community building for parents.  I hired an outside company to come and lead super high energy games for kids.  They were having fun while I was sitting down eating a brownie.  Nice.  Parents hung out with each other and relaxed.  It was a great opportunity to all connect with each other.  The second half, I gave an overview of our vision, values and programs to parents.  The night was a great way for parents to connect and be informed about our ministry.

Doing something similar at your church may or may not be successful.  But whatever program, event or strategy you implement, remember to make connecting with parents a part of who you are as a leader.  Let it flow naturally out of your desire to walk alongside them as they parent preteens.  Being the parent of a preteen can be lonely and confusing, so why not make some new friends today?