How to Lead Preteen Small Groups: Part 2

This is part 2 of How to Lead Preteen Small Groups.  If you haven’t read Part 1 or Why Do Preteen Small Groups? I recommend you do.

Here is tip #2:

2. Train leaders to facilitate, not teach.

Small groups by nature allow preteens the opportunity to explore Christianity, ask questions and express doubts.  Preteens want to ask questions. They want to know why bad things happen to good people, why Jesus had to die such a horrible death, or why they prayed that mom and dad wouldn’t get a divorce but they did anyway.  They need to express their doubts.  They might doubt Jesus really was who he said he was.  They might doubt the Bible really is true.

Small group leaders should be masters at facilitating conversation.  It’s all about digging up the questions that have swimming around their heads.  And the best environment to do that is within a safe peer group in the presence of a safe leader.  So, how do you facilitate conversation:

First, ask a lot of questions. Open ended questions that challenge preteens to think and question.

Second, when a preteen asks a question, throw it out to the rest of the group. Let them talk about it.

Third, let them chase rabbits. I know, the leader in me wants to stay on track. But they might have something else they are processing that is more important to them. As long as it is a topic worth talking about, go there.  If they just want to talk about Ninja’s, maybe don’t chase that rabbit.  When you do chase rabbits, eventually lead them back to the subject you were originally talking about.  It’s sort of an art form. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

Forth, play the other side.  If the topic is the validity of the Bible, then start with a question like: Other religions believe just a strongly that their book is truth, so how do you know the Bible really is true?

Or if the topic is Jesus, ask: How do you know for sure Jesus ever existed? How do you know he is who he said he is?

Pretend you are the doubting Thomas. What questions would you ask?

These type of questions get them thinking.  Asking them helps them transition from “I am a Christian because that’s what I’ve been told is truth” to “I am a Christian independently of my mom or dad. I am a Christian because I want to follow Jesus.”

Helping preteens cross that threshold is tricky. You can’t shove it down their throats. It requires you to guide them at times letting them go a bit, but being their right beside them when needed.

This goal won’t be accomplished if the leader is focused on “teaching” during small group. Yes, have a plan. Have a point you want to get across.  But be a master at facilitation conversation rather than teaching.  Train your leaders to do the same.  How?

1. Don’t recruit leaders whose gift is teaching. You set them up for failure. It’s not fair to ask them be something their not.  I recommend keeping an eye on your leaders.  Stop by just for a few minutes during small group (if possible) and see what’s going on. Are they teaching or facilitating?

2. Get good at facilitating a small group yourself. Once you get the hang of it, begin to recruit and train leaders to do the same. Multiply yourself.

3. Spend time with your leaders.  Get to know them. Have coffee or lunch with them. Get in the habit of asking them how their small group went afterwards. Help troubleshoot problems as needed. Praise them when doing a good job.

I have one more tip to share with you about How to Lead Preteen Small Groups.  I will be a bit more realistic and say to check back next Monday for the next tip.  But you never know, I might surprise you and write it earlier.  I am sort of sneaky like that sometimes 🙂

Looking for a small group series? Check out PreteenMinistry.net’s new 5 week small group preteen series: What’s the Bible All About?