HOW TO PASTOR PRETEENS

Three quick tips to keep in mind when putting together a plan to pastor preteens:

1. Parents
It is easy for preteens to where a mask and parents are the key to uncovering it. Preteens want you to think all is okay at home, school and with their friends. But if they have a pulse, they’ve got problems. Parents are a good place to start. Regularly call parents of preteens to find out what’s going on in their world. They might not know everything, but communication with them will certainly give you a snapshot into the private lives of your students. Have small group leaders call parents, introduce themselves and ask how they can pray for their preteen. Most will love the fact that you care enough to ask and be open to you about their son or daughters’ struggles. Keep a notebook of prayer requests and the unique issues each preteen faces. Pray for them regularly. Stay in touch with parents every 4 – 6 weeks. The more contact that is established between you and parents, the more they trust and will partner with you as a mentor in their child’s life.

2. Preteens
A relationship between small group leaders and preteens is essential. But I think the expectation to do too much is present all too often. Most small group leaders have busy lives. They might be a high school or college student balancing school, sports, a job and a social life. They could also be a parent balancing a demanding career, little league, church life and summer trips to Florida. So, is it reasonable to ask volunteers to go to softball games, dance recitals and basketball games of their students? If they have the time, then tell them to go for it. But most don’t and expecting them to is not necessary. However, being connected to preteens is important. Some ideas: a quick phone call, an email a few times a week, creating a preteen discussion board on your ministry’s website, text messaging throughout the week, instant messaging online or send a card in the mail saying hello. Communicate using the method they like the most. Think of simple and effective ways to cultivate a relationship outside of church that is not overwhelming for busy volunteers. Being involved in preteens lives is important, but be smart with your time.

3. Small Groups
Without small groups of some type a preteen ministry will not flourish. Don’t feel tied down to the same old way doing them. Think outside the box. Some ideas: create small groups that meet at the weekend services to reinforce the lesson and build community, create groups that focus on discipling kids through consecutive classes, start midweek groups that get together in homes to build community, form special interest groups that meet at various times throughout the week. Some examples of special interest groups are: skateboarding, video game, football or even shopping groups. Preteens who like to do that particular thing meet together and connect with others who share the same interest. The focus is on relationships.

No matter the type of group, make it a point for preteens to share what happened in their lives (good or bad) in the past week and allow time for praying for each other. A cool idea to get a new group opening up is to have preteens fill out a “prayer request” card at each meeting. Leave a blank for them to write down any prayer requests assuring it will be kept confidential. After a few weeks students might feel more open to share their prayer needs in front of the group and get prayer on the spot by the group leader and other group members.