Partnering with Parents of Preteens

Most of us realize that parents continue to have the most influence on young people. In fact, research continues to prove the influence of parents trumps the influence of peers, the media and even the church. With big publishers like Orange and D6 being the leading voices in this area, a case for the argument isn’t really needed. Churches are beginning to embrace the idea. The “how” is the big question. And when it comes to preteen ministry, the “how” becomes even more specific.

So, how can the church partner with parents of preteens?

There is no one answer fits all. Every church will answer the question differently. One step we’re taking at Seven San Diego Church is to offer a parenting class. I know, not a very innovative idea. Nothing new under the sun. However, our approach will be a bit different. The class will be video driven. We’re in the process of looking for some materials to use. The real magic won’t be the curriculum  or resource we choose. The magic is simply getting parents together in the same room and talking about the issues they face. What issues are their kids’ facing? What issues are parents dealing with? The power of the class is getting parents together and talking. Sharing their successes and failures. Taking time to listen to and pray for each other. Getting relief from knowing other parents struggle with the same stuff.

One of the best things the church can do is offer an opportunity to collaborate. We don’t need to shove a parenting philosophy down parents’ throats. We simply need to offer a place of community, collaboration and prayer.

When the church offers this kind of opportunity, it makes a statement. The statement is that it wants to partner with parents. Pointing kids to Jesus is not all up to the parent nor is it all up to the church. It’s a joint effort.

Now, I do believe there is a lot of potential to specifically get parents of preteens together. Why? Because, like preteens, parents of preteen face specific issues. Thy ask questions like: How do I begin to let go? How and when do I have the “sex talk”? How do I help my preteen transition into adolescence? What developmental stages to parents need to be aware of – socially, physically, cognitively, spiritually? These are just a few question among many that are preteen specific.

Maybe you offer a preteen specific parenting class. Or maybe you offer parenting class across the board, whth an opportunity for specific affinity small groups based on age (toddlers, pre-K, elementary, preteen, teenage years). Experiment and find out works best for you.

However you partner with parents, the first step is to do something. It doesn’t need to be too groundbreaking  or inovative, just a simple step in the right direction.

How do you partner with parents? Leave a comment and share your thoughts and strategy.

Nick Diliberto is the creator of PreteenMinistry.net, which provides cool curriculum and resources for preteen ministry. He’s also the preteen columnist for Children’s Ministry Magazine and a Children’s Pastor in San Diego, CA.