Everyone wants to feel accepted and loved.

How far someone is willing to go to fit in with others, demonstrates the depth of their character.

Use this lesson to show preteens that fitting in is easy – standing out from the crowd is the real challenge!

– Nick Diliberto, Preteen Ministry



Bible: Psalm 139:1 (CEV)

Bottom Line: Fitting in is easy – standing out from the crowd is the real challenge!


  • Four “sets” of loose-fitting clothes (hats, gloves, sweatpants, sweaters)
  • 4-8 inflated balloons, different colors
  • Upbeat music


Choose four volunteers.

Give each volunteer a “set” of clothes and a balloon.

When you say GO, the contestants are to keep their balloon in the air while putting on the items of clothing.

If the balloon touches the ground, they are out.

The balloon must be held on their person, or else kept floating in the air at all times.

While students are racing, play upbeat music.

You can award a prize to the person who gets dressed the fastest, and never drops their balloon.

Play as many rounds as you would like, as long as the students stay interested in playing.

After the game is finished, have students return to their seats.

After the game, say: You did an awesome job playing that game… I’m pretty sure some of you must balance a balloon every time you get dressed!


Today’s lesson is all about the balance between fitting in with others and standing out from the crowd.

Do you think someone should try to do both things – fit in and stand out?

Wait for responses.

Well, let’s talk about it.

God created you as a unique individual, and as you grow up, you will notice how different everyone is from each other – and that’s okay!

Some difference are big; for example: some people are really shy and easily embarrassed around others, and some people are really outgoing and love to be in a crowd.

Other differences are kind of small – like what your favorite movie is or what types of music you enjoy.

Most of us have friends that we share common interests with, but maybe you also have a friend who is the opposite of who you are.

In our relationships with others, it’s important to know who you are.

Do you back down when someone doesn’t agree with what you believe?

Are you easily influenced by what others say?

Do you care more about fitting in, than being true to who you are on the inside?

You need to know who you are because otherwise you could become someone else’s idea of who you should be.

Psalm 139:1 (CEV) says, “You have looked deep into my heart, Lord, and you know all about me.”

God knows the real you… He also knows how badly you want to fit in, or how bold you are in standing out from the crowd.

Here’s the thing, if someone only likes you because you fit into their mold of who they think you should be, they actually aren’t your friend.

Your true friends won’t force you to fit into their group, they will love and accept you for who you are.

You can be a good friend to others by doing the same thing, and encouraging each other in your relationships with God.

Your goal should be to act in a way that honors God and to try and influence others to do the same.

God does not want us to fit into the ways of the world and to become more like it.

His desire is for us to be more like Him.

When your first priority is to do the things that God wants for your life, it will give you the confidence to say ‘no’ to the things that aren’t good for you because you know God is right there with you.

Fitting in is easy… standing out is the real challenge.

Jesus lived a “stand out” life.

For His entire life, He was an outsider… the ideas that He expressed came straight from God, but didn’t fit the mold of how the world thought the Son of God should act.

Jesus didn’t let the world push Him into their mold because He knew who He was.

In the end, it’s not what others think about us, but what we think about ourselves and most importantly what God thinks about us that matters.

Fitting in isn’t your only option; God can give you the courage to stand out from the crowd.

As we close in prayer, let’s ask God to help us be confident in the person that He made us to be.

Close in prayer.


  • Are you afraid to tell your friends ‘no’ when you don’t want to go along with what they are doing? Why or why not?
  • Have you ever felt rejected because you said ‘no’ to something someone wanted you to do?
  • What can you do to make sure that you don’t just go along with the crowd?
  • In what ways is God with you when you stand up to the crowd?
  • Do you want to fit in with others, or are you okay standing out from the crowd?


Liked this lesson? Check out the March Bundle of preteen curriculum, which is only available now through March 23 at 5pm Eastern U.S. time:


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