What Students Really Think of Your Teachings

Written by Aaron Helman

Are you teaching grace or legalism?

You might be surprised by how students would answer that question about you.

Grace is a hot topic right now in the Christian world, and it should be.

So while you want your students to understand the difference between right and wrong, you really want them to understand the grace that intercedes when we choose wrong instead of right.

So, grace is probably the most important concept that you share, right?

If I had to guess, I’d guess that most of you said, “Yes.”

And I’d also guess that most of your students would say, “No.”

Grace is important.

We just don’t always present it that way.

If you’ve seen the Sticky Faith research, you know how important it is to make sure your students understand and appreciate grace. Grace is the thing that lets you return to your faith when you inevitably fall away.

Legalism and shame are the things that make you feel like you can’t go back.

That’s why it’s so important to make sure that our students know that God’s grace supersedes our sin, but as I recently learned; our students aren’t always coming away with that lesson, even when we try to make it clear that’s what we’re giving them.

It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that we’d done a ten-week series on the Ten Commandments and were prepping for a three week series on grace, forgiveness, and love.

Sure, I would SAY that God’s love conquers our sin. I would SAY that God’s grace is bigger than our transgressions. I would SAY that forgiveness is big enough for all of us, no matter what.

But for an entire quarter of the year, I spent ten weeks talking about what you should and shouldn’t do; then three weeks talking about grace.

And since our students attend – on average – about fifty percent of the time, that meant that…

…the average student heard FIVE messages about Old Testament rights and wrongs; and only one or two messages about God’s grace.

(Yes, there are ways to teach a Ten Commandments series in grace-filled ways. I’ll try harder to make sure I do that next time.)

Three more ways we accidentally let legalism trump grace:

1. Youth Group Rules

Listen, I know we need order and expectations in our preteen ministry programs. But I’ve seen youth groups where they do welcome, announcements, and cover the rules every single week. I used to do it too.

Problem is, I’m setting the same first impression every single week. There are rights and wrongs and rules, and there are consequences if you break them. Now let’s talk about Christ and forgiveness.

2. Judgment

So, Miley Cyrus twerked. It was inappropriate. If our response condemned her, even jokingly; we’re lifting up legalism. And if you don’t think your students notice these jokes that you make on the side, you’re wrong.

Don’t communicate the idea that Miley Cyrus did something inappropriate and she’s gross. Communicate the idea that Miley Cyrus did something inappropriate and God loves her.

3. Volunteers

This is the most difficult item to fix on the list, but if your volunteers aren’t on board with the message the grace trumps all, then you’ll have a hard time to get your students to buy in.

A small group leader who regularly takes conversations in the direction of legalism probably has good intentions, but might be hurting your message of grace.

This is especially true if a volunteer has ingrained inclinations toward being judgy.

The Big Idea

It’s tough, but sometimes you’ve got to step back and ask yourself the question:

What will students perceive is the big idea that we’re trying to share with them this month?

You’d be shocked how often the answer to that question isn’t what you hope it will be.

Aaron Helman is on a mission to end youth worker burnout by providing the training and resources that you haven’t been taught… until now.

Smarter Youth Ministry exists to help you learn how to manage their time and resources better so that you can do more ministry with less frustration.

All of that having been said, you most likely know him as the creator of “Lamentation or Taylor Swift Lyric.”

If you’re looking for preteen lessons that are filled with the message of grace, then check out our newest resource…

30 Summer Games for Preteens

These 30 Summer Games for Preteen Ministry are more than just fun, crazy games.

They’re loaded with the underlying message of “grace”, teaching students Biblical topics like: Character, Acceptance, Failure, Valuing Others…and so much more!

And, yes, all the games are SO MUCH fun!

They’re a great addition to your summer programming.